dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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