I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love having hate sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
