Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
