when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Having a random hookup so left but love u
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
