i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
