They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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