I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
