im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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