I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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