I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
