Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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