i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
