office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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