her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
