I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
