I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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