There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You took a bar mat shot.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
