im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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