Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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