Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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