she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
