i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
