Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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