Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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