A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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