i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
