and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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