I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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