new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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