sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
