dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
