My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
