I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
