I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
