i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
