I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
