i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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