All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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