this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
