just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
