Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
