I can text with my tongue
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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