We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
