I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
