eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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