Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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