just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize