Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
