Pants 0. Shit 1.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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