big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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