Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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