What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
