so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize