try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
