Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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