remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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