I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
