i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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