Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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