just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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