Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
