Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
