My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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