My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
